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She thought I was beautiful. This is a tip my Dad gave me when he noticed how stressed and easily upset I was during that dark time of my life, and I later discovered, it does in fact help! I won't lie, it helped my appearance a lot too. Which is huge in my opinion. damn son u good." And when you're happy with who you are, you are able to give love uninhibited and you won't be concerned about whether it's good enough or you're good enough. Who is this reckless and dissociated girl? or was it there all the time? We all have flaws. It enables you to look at things, people and life from another perspective, better perspective. On the long-term strategies note, here are some things I do to keep myself on course to continue the self-love! I'm happy with my life right now and I'm happy with how I treat others. Came out as gay. 4. Put your happiness above your desire to be liked or to please others. I felt like by me doing that I was showing how much I hated myself and I was embarrassed about it too. I made an effort to be kind and pleasant to others. For the entirety of those 18 months, I was convinced that I was ugly, slutty, selfish, spoiled, and naive, and that the only person who could ever "love" me was this guy. That's why I gave up thinking that I was a worthless piece of shit, and started thinking that I could do better by living my life in a manner that reflects my self-respect and appreciation for life and my personal being. Try it in a compasionate way. knowing this, and implementing this in ones consciousness are different things. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Bad looks were the source of all my insecurities. I've heard that spending more time in front of a mirror helps a lot of people gain their confidence, and confidence is vital piece of the puzzle to learn to love yourself. I am sure that you have plenty of examples yourself … Realizing that putting your happiness first isn't always selfish. Why is it so hard? Then I'd go back and try to argue why each one of those reasons for hating myself were irrational or incorrect. Sometimes it's a battle, but I remind myself that I am not so special that I should be exempt from the standards and hopes I have for other people. Don't let the small fleeting things of everyday life, like media, TV shows, or others make you think you're insignificant. -Open the blinds, and leave the music on. I just don't like myself. I can't say that I love everything about myself, but I definitely feel comfortable in my own skin now. The #1 Thing to Do to Set Yourself Up for a Better Year. I wasn't exactly what I'd call a girl's greatest catch. My dad calls that "Giving yourself the win". Stop comparing to others. I realized that I'd been searching for happiness all along in other people, when happiness is not something that can be found--it is, in fact, something that is chosen. He completely tore my self-esteem to pieces. I realized that I firmly believe that every human on this planet deserves security, love and fulfillment. Given my own shredding of those forest roads in Pennsylvania, I can hardly disagree. It sucks that it took this long for me to realize it, and I'm starting to regret it. Growing up, my mother always told me that love is never enough in a relationship and I never fully understood what she meant, but now that I’m older I can grasp precisely what she meant. I was really self-conscious and semi-depressed for most of high school but my college friends made a huge difference. Thanks again, Steph! -Go shopping once in awhile. If You Love Cats, This May Be Why What felines can teach us about affection . But i do not think it is the best way. On the same note, stop caring what others think of you. Though we might never be "good enough," being good is still better than being average. I sort of thought letting this guy walk all over me made me weak. She was a very popular girl--she was very pretty, and nice, and an amazing dancer. This isn't to say skip class or work to go crazy all day, but set aside some time in your schedule to be able to do something you enjoy. Was there a special moment? Maybe someone who is in troubles right now can find help and encouragement in this reddit. "date this girl ? The reason why I would hurt myself is because I felt like I had caused a lot of my emotional pain and I wanted to be punished. Loving myself got easier when I finally accepted that life isn't linear, and that it doesn't turn out the same for everyone. If I'm happy, I can be in a better position help someone else. I was short and ugly, which made me ashamed to show my face. Anyone can say they love you, yet very few genuinely do. I got myself stuck in an abusive relationship pretty young--he was the first guy I ever dated. There have been, with the most conservative estimate, at least 300 days throughout my lifetime where I thought to myself, “I should just end it. One thing I've started doing recently is making my bed every morning. When we fall in love everything around us becomes more beautiful and appealing. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. That's true of you too, you know. We all have different gifts. Come to terms with where you are today. Love. 3. When you accept and love yourself, you don’t need someone else’s approval or love, and you are likely to believe that you will … I love myself, just like I love everything that comes out of me and all of which I keep within. For a long time, I couldn't understand why this was a problem. I have so much love and moral strength in me why am I letting myself and these poor men down when it comes to sex? Before, I was terribly insecure about myself. You should not kill yourself. In a word, NO. When you're in that kind of a positive environment, it's easier to see your good qualities while accepting the bad for what they are. The more you understand yourself and how to love yourself, the better you will be at understanding another person and giving them the love they deserve. I am going to write down three reasons everyday as to why I love myself. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. We all have bad days, weeks, months, years. Do one thing better every day and once you look back and see how far you've come you'll realize how awesome you are. There are many other reasons to love yourself, and they are all good. So I just gotta be patient until then. 3. This is not just a girl thing. How did you learn to love who you are? I grew up thinking that I was a worthless piece of shit that had no true purpose on this planet. For a long time, I couldn't understand why this was a problem. Yes, you will do it tonight. I have hobbies that involve a lot of activity, I keep very healthy and I have lots of friends and acquaintances. Go out, learn a skill, earn respect, and then you can respect yourself. Happier. Very depressed =(Frusterated. But I don't think that this is considered hiding our flaws. He'd also tell me I wasn't allowed to pursue my hobbies--the few things that made me happy--because sacrifices were part of love. "making these noodles? It’s easy to hate yourself when you keep falling short of your expectations. Today, go to the mirror, look into your eyes and tell yourself: i love myself. she only thinks this cause i’m overweight, like i don’t even talk about food and i don’t eat that much especially when she’s around. What do you feel when somebody doesn't share your value system? Myself. I hit puberty, and I just became a lot better looking. However, if there are people in your life who are tearing you down, you simply have to learn to stand up for yourself. With enough practice, it got the point where I know that even if I hate myself now, at some point in the future I'm not going to feel this way and I'll actually really like myself. I love … We're just enhancing our beauty, revealing the good we've been given: our green eyes shadowed by under-eye circles, our hilarious jokes for any occasion dampened by depression. I have never been wrong on that one. You just brightened up my day. This manifested into a philosophy that I should just forgo myself, and love other more than I did myself. We always hear about how you "must love yourself before _____" but how did you make yourself do that? TLDR: don't be a dick, be confident and positive. She hugged me, and she said into my ear "You are so strong." Smile. You should be always loveable (lit. With the ubiquity … I hated myself, even though I was gifted at academics. If I don't love myself, it's not just me that suffers. There isn't some quote or comment that you can read over the internet. There was a specific moment when I learned to love myself. Poppy Lei 1. At 42 I'm uncomfortable in the skin of a gay man. We just gotta keep changing, evolving, perfecting ourselves. I found myself surrounded by extremely close friends who loved me for who I was during college. I think my perspective really changed after I realized that other people depend on me to love myself. I chose to care about myself, treat myself better, and love myself. Not worth it. best damn thing ever made." You have so much to live for. Congratulations, you've beat out most of history and much of the world today! Once you start to make yourself happy, other things tend to follow suite, which opens the doors to understanding that you are a pretty alright person. But if we keep on striving towards perfection, the satisfaction of knowing we have become a better version of ourselves is an internal sense of accomplishment, strength, and even spiritual or soulful achievement. Its really nice coming home to a made bed, sliding in and drifting off to sleep. That seems crazy to me, but it's the truth. At the end of the day, you're still you. Loving yourself and who you are creates a satisfying feeling of contentment. If you put in the effort, it'll improve. Pretty soon people start to see that, and You love myself more each day. Focus on bringing a good sensation inside you, look into your eyes and tell yourself that you love yourself. My biggest weakness (looks) had been pushed aside, and it made me feel a whole lot better about myself. I have been working toward self-like for 25 years and think I have about 25 more to go. 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